Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Hurray For WikiLeaks

WikiLeaks is doing great work in finally, perhaps, having the government understand that we are the masters and the G-Men are the servants. For the entire history of this nation along with other mischievous states around the world, we have, under the cover of "national security", "executive privilege", "top secret clearance", and all of the other bullshit the government hides from the people who pays the bills, become detached from the original intent of our founders, to be in large part, a business model in this respect, for the non-interference in the affairs of other nations around the world, affairs which have no bearing on the business of the United States.

The opposition to the leakers say that lives, reputations, and the ability of our "diplomats" to keep secret the identities of informants is in great peril because now the people of this nation know much more about what CIA, State Department, and other rouge outfits in this country are doing under our signature. Men, everyday our nation puts in grave danger military around the world in and out of combat. That argument won't wash. The greatest threat to the safety of the people of this country is our leaders engaging shady characters to pull out information from their supposed allies, and give it to us. The idea that we are putting foreign agents at risk is bogus. If we could not engage the agents in the first place, if indeed they believed that their lives could be in danger, and talking to U.S. spies would be harmful to their health, then maybe we couldn't commit this country to operations we shouldn't be involved in, in the first place.

A fresh, free, flow of information would make the average Pakistani think twice before becoming allied with United States undercover operations. And maybe we could leave the rest of world to clean up their own garbage that we only make worse by spreading around the shit.

Vivi WikiLeaks.!





Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Happy Thanksgiving...In Jail!

So here we are again, kin. My most wonderful time of the year! If you're Andy Williams or a cool fart like him. But for us little 'un's and Jews who have to brace ourselves for the coming season of Christmas light and charity, I say get out of town while we can still hold onto our pupicks.

Its not that I don't like this winter season of faith and charity and goodwill to men. I just don't like the hypocrites who, like all of the white men who have advanced in this world by keeping their boot on my neck, treat us like the little shitties we may very well be. And then come the "holidays" and these very same guys who treat me like a free toilet (no respect for free toilets in this sector of Virginia) all year, suddenly turn into Christians, talk to me like I'm human, look interested in my thoughts and Judaism, and then, before you can piss into an empty beer can on New Years Eve, they knock a block our heads again to start the new year.

Fug 'em. Like Nixon would say about his enemies, just fug 'em. I'm going to spend my precious holiday with old man Swanson down by the microwave, then maybe go across the street to the gas station across the street from my house, have a banana Poopsicle, jump on the bell robes (I do so love that..the man comes out..and get this!...there's no car there!). I'll probably end the festivities with a full blown 10 center at my Pay Toilet Stalls in downtown Norfolk, where I'll stink up the world to my heart's content, and just fug 'em.

Fug 'em.

Happy holidays, bitch. In Jail!

Joe





Saturday, November 20, 2010

Bananarama

The banana boat from Havana came into Norfolk yesterday. However, because the men who were supposed to come up from Haiti to peel the bananas for pudding did not show up we took the banana shipment, and sold them to our resident rectal man at my pay toilets downtown, Dr. Ass, to use, as he saw fit(s) for banana enemas and other assorted bathroom varieties.

As we all gather along the family home in anticipation of Thanksgiving, I realize the shortage of fruit and other Thanksgiving delights may make this a less than absolutely fantastic, upper GI tract, many mouths to feed, holiday. But we live with what we have. And if on your Thanksgiving table this week, you don't see fruit cup, don't come crying to me. I do have a case. But I have to save it for the big buffet we're having this Thursday at the stalls. Hermaphrodites get in for half. Or is that for double? I could never get that straight. Shoot, Lord, that's like getting a herme herself straight. It takes legislation for that.

So, let us shine in the reflected glory of our wonderful election win, hoping the Tea Party peeps do our thing up right.

And serve the gravy hot.

Joe


Saturday, November 13, 2010

God And Drunk

I wish I had a taste for drink. I quit smoking, I ain't got a TV set, no Internet, and I think I saw a mouse in the kitchen. I would get sloshed every night if only I had a taste for tippling. But I do like the sex (I never got my fair share. I tried complaining to the Board Of Sex, but then I found out that it was just a board up on Church street where prosties lay out a board in the middle of the street and then work you. I don't need that.

I want a refrigerator filled with treats, lots of books, a radio, a girl to come in twice a week to clean the apartment, and a better attitude. And money. When I win the lotto, and all of my folks appear at my door for a "visit", I'll just pull a Jimmy Stewart on them and say "hey, listen, its not like the money is here. It's at the bank and in some stocks and bonds, and in Joe's house, and the Kennedy house. You've got it all wrong. Its not like its in the back in piles (it really would be...keep still). I love you all, and I want to share my most wonderful luck with all of you. Here's a number you can call to speak with the person who has the money right now. Call him, and see what's what? What What?

And in the meantime, I would have the biggest damn bed in Norfolk, free toilets all over the house, ice cream sandwiches, in a circle on my bed, and the book I'm reading now about the telegraph and telephone.

I don't need much anymore. Its been four years since my TV went to hell. Two years since my computer at home vomited and lost the Internet, and a year since I said bye to my home email. So now, just give me the money, ice cream, books, and a big bed with toilets all over the house. Wanna make me happy? I know all of you, all the world over, do. So leave me now. I got my dick stuck in a jar of pigs feet.

Don't ask.

Joey


Saturday, November 06, 2010

Dyspepsia

I've had a little heartburn this week, which has kept me from my appointed rounds. Not really dyspepsia, which is stomach upset, so much as a burning in the upper digestive tract, and rolling a little towards the back. A coke clears it up. But sometimes, like when I'm in the car on the interstate going 80, I ain't near a Coke. Or a Pepsi. But they do clean me out.

When I say clean me out, I don't mean in the way that an enema would, but just that the carbonation offstinks the indigestion and I continue to live. I'll be 54 next month. My brain is 100, and my face and body are 35. So I averaged that out to a clean 54. I was listening to NPR yesterday, and there was a show about fancy enemas. Vanilla Phosphate, choco-cream cookie, bubble-gum, cheese and crackers, coffee, with cream, sugar and pis, and my favorite, the old fashioned cake enema. It is really great, they say, especially when it is festooned with a bride and groom on the top. I can see where that would make it a little tough going in, but I suppose if you leave them in there long enough, they would melt. Plus they come in all kinds of candied flavors. Its better than the thistle-thorn enema, which has been known to tear the anus to pieces.

But this is all conjecture. I haven't had one yet, and I suppose I should. I wouldn't want a homosexual doctor (I want my physicians to work at what they're doing, not play inside me). But my regular M.D. looks straight to me, so I would say DIG IN, MAN!

It could be embarrassing too. What if they found some weird stuff up there? Stuff that I never knew about, but maybe floated upstream when I was a kid. I would be mortified to find a toy boat, or a pair of ladies stockings. Gee, what if the doctor found a fetus? It would blow my mind. Blow it up, dude.

I wish I knew how much time they spent in my dark continent looking for shit (I know they'll find plenty of shit shit...I mean shit as in uncool shit). And when the thick steel rod is up my tushy-meat, and I woke up, all of a sudden, and squealed, would I be gay? There's got to be a better way.

Have a great weekend, ladles. There is a concert at my toilet tonight.

Joe

Wednesday, November 03, 2010

A New Beginning. Let Us Come Together.

The title says it all. I cribbed the last part from a Nixon campaign poster. We did quite well last night. Not the complete blowout I was hoping for. Harry Reid got reelected, and the Democrats keep the Senate. But we did get 60 more "R's" in the house for a nice majority. The buildup was so big, I was thinking way more. Like a thousand extra house seats, and maybe ten thousand Senate pickups, but it was not to be.

As our collectivist enemies like to say about their stuff, let me say; this is a good first step. I found it neat that 53% percent of those who voted (polled of course) had a negative attitude towards the Republican Party. AND, 53% of those polled had negative feelings towards the Democratic party. Sounds like like hot nuts for a real nice, strong third party if the GOP can't get down to business and obey the dictates of the Tea Party.

The GOP is rich now, and connected in cool ways. We have, basically, traditional conservative pinstripes, libertarian leaning philosophers, and Tea Partiers, who stride, com se com sa', the middle of the two. Forget about any Republican stragglers, who still think Jacob Javits was a comer. The party is now conservative-libertarian (oh, what about my precious Libertarian Party...where shall they go? What shall they do?) and can be poised, if it has the balls, to revolutionize government.

Do they got the balls, Manny? Nixon had balls. But he was a criminal. The next two years will tell the story. The Tea Party, I predict, will remain as active as they have been these last two years, pushing hard, standing in the GOP doorway to keep the scaredicats who promised us that they would take off the shakles and RADICALLY reform the mess they have created from escaping. We have to clean up this mess. We made it.

By the way, did you know that Virginia state law requires that all pay toilets have to close on election day? I was smelling fried chicken all day. Some lady before me at the voting stalls shit in her pants, and smeared it on the ballot. I guess she thought they would take her more seriously that way.

Remember. We are now in the "good first step" phase to reverse the tragic course of government over the last 80 or more years.

Let's move!

Joe Postove

Tuesday, November 02, 2010

Vote

I just voted. The polling stall is just down the block from the library, so I decided to vote first then do my Eric Sevareid bit afterwards.

There wasn't much of a crowd. It took about 10 minutes for me to get my ballot. And get this, my peeps, I did something today, that I haven't done in many many years. No, not that, I do that every day. The other thing. I voted straight Republican EVEN though there was a Libertarian on the ballot. WE call it Libertarianism And Things for a reason, and I probably broke a few hearts today. But here's why.

I've been convinced that the Tea Party, being a VERY VERY good influence on the old, me too, tired Republicanism, can turn this party around, give it a good push towards real liberty, and many libertarians will gather round, and perhaps coalition with a Tea Party dominated GOP. We must now pray.

Also, this is the last chance for the Republican Party. I will, and many of the important people in my coterie will forever and always leave the Republicans if they can't get it straight this time. This is the most important mid-term, perhaps the most important election, all said, in more than 30 years. The United States Of America will die a slow, meandering death, if the Party of Lincoln disappoints us again.

Anyone there? This is the last chance. Of course we can't do everything at once (believe me...I tried it once and I got my pushky all tied up with my kiddish). But with Tea Party-Libertarians with a significant presence in the party, we can immediately start to turn this once great nation back to the ethics of our founding fathers, and return us to the free nation we were meant to always be.

If you haven't voted yet, please go and do so now. But if you ain't going to vote properly, I hear there are scads of good TV shows on tonight. Stay home and grab some tube.

And so, tomorrow we'll know. May God have mercy on the freedom lovers, and have at it with the socialists.

FREEDOM WORKS. CAPITALISM IS THE ONLY MORAL "ISM".

Joe Postove